Downhill

In celebration of bikes, beer, the inexorable march of time, gravity, senescence, eschatology, and, oh my goodness, another decade of living drawing to a close, 327 Words proudly presents the 59 It's All Downhill From Here (Except When It Isn't) Time Trial, an alleycat-style bike race around a fair number high and low points in Seattle with checkpoints and performance detraction options galore beginning at 2020 Cycle at 21st and Union in Seattle, WA on Saturday, April 2, 2016 at 3:27 sharp, signups commencing around 2:30 or so.

Participants will pedal downhill as fast as their little legs can carry them and discover that getting to the bottom of things doesn't necessarily mean you've bottomed out nor that there's no place to go from there but up.

Every year, they say, the hills get a little bit steeper, but the good news is that this means the way down is that much faster, as well.

And once you've been down so long that it looks like up, then guess what?  More downhills to follow!

All this and more, out on two wheels, rain or shine, no crying or fatal crashes allowed.  Ten bucks suggested donation, free shot glasses for the first 59 riders,

Racers, competing in a group time-trial format, will have every opportunity to scale the heights of plumbing the depths and realize that the lower you go, the more things are looking up in every way.

Prizes—cash and bike schwag—will be awarded for fastest times, men’s and ladies’ divisions, as well as runner-up positions, including, of course, DFL.

Prize sponsors and friends currently on tap or being recruited include:Fireball Whiskey, Detours, Portland Design Works, Sock Guy, Liquid Courage Flasks, Pabst Blue Ribbon,  Haulin’ Colin Trailers, 2020 Cycle, Oury Grips, Swift Industries, Vapolution Vaporizers, SKS Germany, Walz Caps,  Peddler Brewery,  Bombus Bikes, Pace Sportswear, Bar Mitts, Planet Bike, Green Guru, Kryptonite Lock, with more to come! Don’t pass up your chance to ride through traffic, have a variety of adventures and misadventures, and always remember: Safety Third!

Friends, relations, and those too lazy to ride, but not to drink are invited to show up at Bill's Off-Broadway  after about 6:00 for more varieties of nonsense and shenanigans, and, at the bottom of it all, prizes, too!