Race Report

One day you will celebrate your 59th birthday surrounded by people you adore having fun their favorite way on the warm and sunniest day of the year—that is, if you’re as lucky as me.

Let us begin by thanking those who made the incredible possible.

First, all the amazing sponsors, whose generosity is only exceeded by the quality of their products:

Fireball Whiskey, Detours, Portland Design Works, Sock Guy, Liquid Courage Flasks, Pabst Blue Ribbon,  Haulin’ Colin Trailers, 2020 Cycle, Oury Grips, Swift Industries, Vapolution Vaporizers, SKS Germany, Walz Caps,  Peddler Brewery,  Bombus Bikes, Pace Sportswear, Bar Mitts, Planet Bike, Green Guru, Kryptonite Lock, Chrome, Swift Industries, Public Bikes, Zeitgeist Coffee, and Bill's Off-Broadway.

Seriously, folks, next time you buy something, buy it from one of them.

Second, the checkpoint helpers: Jen Dixon, first and foremost; Rob Johnson down by the lake,; Ben Greening, with young Gray on the beach;

Marley and Adam, personing Zeitgeist’; Donovan at the ballfields; and tehSchkott, makin’ friends at the Chrome Hub.

May you be as fortunate as me to have friends like you.

Third, the racers: 59 (can you believe it!) intrepid souls willing to navigate the highs and lows of Seattle and indulge in a variety of indulgences just to indulge a fellow as a way to commemorate his arrival on the planet fifty-nine fucking years ago.

You’re all winners in my book.

But, to be specific:

Fastest time went to Lieutenant Dan,

who, living up to my dear departed father’s favorite quote: “Old age and treachery will beat youth and enthusiasm every time,” somehow figured out a route—involving bushwacking the golf course—that even smoked world-class cycle messenger, Fast Fred,

who won the non-improvised route first prize.

Fastest lady was newcomer Jade,

who showed up late, but ended early.

“Professor Dave metric” (age, minus place, highest number prevails) went to high-school teacher David Katz, whose score, 48, would still be older than 88% of the field; congrats on snagging the coveted Vapolution Vaporizor!

Rachel surely garnered best “bikeasana” pose,

even if the judges may have awarded the prize to Fancy Fred.

DFL went to a quartet of riders—Jenny, Angelique, Andy, and and Kate—who probably could have used their PBR trophy to picnic along the route.

Luckily, no one died, and so prizes were awarded to all; a keg of Peddler pale ale was polished off at the after-party,

and no one when home empty-handed or bellied.

And finally, heartfelt thanks to Mother Nature who graced us all with loveliness from start to finish; honestly, how lucky can a guy be?